Bring out your buckets and trash cans for this one!

Hi Friends! I know, LONG time, no see! Well, I have a pretty true excuse for that, (notice I didn't say GOOD, or ASTONISHING or SHOCKING, or AWE-INSPIRING, but just TRUE...)

I've been unabashedly LAZY!!!!! Shocked? Well, welcome to the WORLD of my WORLDLY flaws! I have a had an enormous amount of interesting things to happen to me here lately, but was just not compelled to share them with the rest of the world in a blog in which I believe (and attempt, somewhat sporadically, to hold myself to) should always be, an eloquently composed post, with poigniant stories, current dialog and uplifting comments and, just....blah-dee-blah-dee-blah...

Well, fortunately for me, I have found a subject upon which I believe I can sound eloquent-ish and "expound-ish-ing-gy...I hope!) and can be considered somewhat of an expert on, and now wish to "expound" upon... "By the way kids, CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THE WORD OF THE DAY IS???? Hmmmm.....might be 'expound'... I'd like to explain to you all the state of affairs of my friend, shall we say... "AnnE" ... who has become engaged to an amazing Man of God.

My husband and I recently attended their engagement party. It was LOVELY! Filled with food, and music and people praising the insight of God to bring these two together!

At one point in our evening, someone asked my husband and I to "tell the story of how we met/got together/and married". We told the entire thing: from meeting over raw fish at Wasabi in Asheville, to marrying on his Mother's front doorsteps because our wedding location was flooded and looked like the home of the "Swamp Thing", or the beginnings of "The Hulk's Homebase" before he relocated to a better rent-controlled apartment.... I won't bore you with all with the details of our wedding, but, I will say that all the guest's of "AnnE" and her Godly man were enamoured with our tale! We were both pretty shocked at how funny and romanticized our tale had become when heard by the un-prepared ears of her guests.

This is where my blog becomes sort-a "cool" (in an Asheville-ish-y sort of way). Apparently, while everyone was listening to our tale and watching our hand motions, describing my first attempt at chopsticks and his awkward attempt to pull out my chair (That really was awkward, considering that we had just met and he was already trying on his Coated Armor of Chivalry)...everyone else had noticed the thing that we had yet to make reference to with regards to our "Story". They had all noticed that Michael and I were/are so HAPPY TOGETHER that our happiness dripped from our every soliloquy and co-finished sentence and montage and horridly-80's-based- joke, that it was undeniable to them all that something bigger than us had played an incontestable role in our meeting, courting, counseling and marriage.

As of July, 12th of this year, I have been married to my 6'8, blonde, Irish-German husband for an entire year! We have NOT HAD IT EASY! In that year, I lost my job and have yet to be able to find work, his work waned and soared, we moved from one house to another, we adopted our first two "children" (Coon Hounds - Mason, 2, 'Delia, 7 1/2 mos.), we have "Church-shopped until we finally found our 'nitch' and we have settled into a happy, deleriously so, marital bliss. (Please feel free to vomit into your trash cans now...)

So, to our friend "AnnE with regards to her Man of God", I raise my virtual glass and say the following:

Congratulations on your engagement to the love of your life! I pray that you are partnered with, enriched by, led, taught, brightened, colored, SPICED, inspired, supported, edified, grounded and, have your "Reins Pulled in and Let Out Accordingly" by him, the way that Michael has done for me!

I also pray that you become his helpmate, his stylist, his partner, and partner in "crime", his "Oh HELL no!" person (when it is ABSOLUTELY necessary with regard to tie/sock/shirt/shoe combo...), his lover, his best friend, his ROCK that lies beside his, underneath the BOULDER of the one and only God, to Which and Whom you will both be grounded FOR ALL ETERNITY...and, last, but not least, his... "Rockin' Chair Girl".

I pray that one day, the two of you, when both creepy-looking, crouched-over, and weathered with both wisdom and age, will be blessed with a beautiful view from a porch, from which you will both be given the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets to enjoy together, until your God calls you both up to your TRUE Home; and, in so doing, enables you both to fulfill His plan for the TRUE Holy Matrimony...up there, in His Heaven.

With utmost love, respect for you both,

Liz McAteer

I hope and pray that, for the rest of our lives, Michael and I are able to inspire married couples to search for the "Best of Themselves"! My best and ONLY secret to our happy marrige (please take note of the fact that we've been together for one YEAR only...) is to BE CONSISTENT WITH COMMUNNICATION! There is no need for raised voices and insults during disagreements when we should both be BEHAVING AS ADULTS. Please make NO MISTAKE, though...this communication thing is no easy row to hoe! We must stay constantly (verbally and mentally) on top of one another to be honest with our feelings and to state our complaints, needs, and, last of all, our expectations in ways that do not downgrade one another, but leave us both with a "Yes, we can!" (pardon the expression) attitude.

I have an equation, of a sort, that I follow, as does Michael (NOW...), when a statement or action of displeasure, hurt, dissapointment, insult, confusion, etc. must be addressed. It is used by the "aggressor and by the agressee". The following is a great example of how we use the equation to non-physically, AND non-VERBALLY-AGGRESSIVELY communicate our confusion, displeasure, etc. to one another and also allow one another to hear EXACTLY how our words or actions incumbered the other emotionally. It's also a simple way of stating how our emotional reactions effected us in the, more...long term. It has helped us to realize that TONE OF VOICE is a matter of great importance to us, and that praise and encouragement mean a great deal to us both also. We practice this equation as often as we remember to during stressfull times and conversations. It goes a little something like this:

"I'd like to discuss something with you. Earlier today/Yesterday/Last week, when you said/did/ implied ______, I felt ______, ______ and ______. In the future, I would appreciate it if you would do/say ______ instead, to express your feelings. Those changes, when made, will help me to feel ______, ______ and ______! :) Thank you for letting me share! Is there anything that you'd like to say in response?

The following is a wonderful example of the usage of our equation in conversation form:

"I'd like to discuss something with you. Earlier today when you said loudly, to your friends, that I looked like I was in my "third trimester", when you KNOW that I am NOT pregnant, I felt hurt, insulted and blindsighted by your cruelty. In the future, I would appreciate if you would approach ME FIRST before discussing your beliefs and concerns with regards to myself, my body, my health and well-being with others. Those changes, when made, will help me to feel that you think of me as an equal, care enough about our friendship to address me PERSONALLY (not through text or e-mail), and are committed to improving communication between us. Thank you for letting me share! Is there anything that you'd like to say in response?

Hopefully, here, the response will be positive, but, if you are the one who was hurt and insulted, and you used this equation to "nip the situation in the bud before it began"...Sometimes you must prepare yourself for....THE UNPRACTICED COMMUNICATOR!!!! (DUN. DUN. DUUUUN!) If anyone is interested enough in this blog post to hear more with regards to the currently being formulated, "Communicator Series"...I'll be happy to post again soon!

To surmise my unbelievably long blog, I must say the following:

When Michael and I need to have one of those kinds of conversations, at this point we're like a "well-oiled-macine"! He knows what he needs to say to inform me of his emotional state and what I've done to dismantle it, and visa versa. It takes practice, though! Practice! And a great deal of honesty with ourselves and, the impact that our words can have!

This pertains most especially to those with whom we plan to rock away with in our rocking chairs, when we're both creepy-looking, crouched-over, and weathered with both wisdom and age...:)

First Impressions...No! SECOND Impressions.

You know, they say that first impressions matter most; or they say something about something about impressions... I don't get bogged down in the details. Anyway, I wanted my first attempt at blogging to be fantastic and, really...impression-ey and stuff. Well, I guess this will have to do! :)


I have often been judged by my attempts at first impressions. When I transferred schools and had to meet a new first grade class I was immediately judged as a shy but pretty sheep. I went "baaah" right along with all the other kids until the fourth grade when I turned ten. "Mother Nature" decided to pay me a visit. I immediately changed from a shy but pretty sheep into a curvacious, lusty-looking, shy sheep. I wasn't quite sure what to do with my newfound lusty-ness, but I had been passed a few notes in the following years to help me figure it out!


"Sheep!"

After some more "baaah"ing, I had finally figured out how to best present myself to make a zinger of a first impression. I was polished, put together and beautiful! But I started to wonder if I was somehow missing the point of it all... I looked the part of a pretty and intelligent pageant girl, but there were other girls around me who looked just the same. The only difference was that they seemed, almost happier. But how could that be? I wasn't sure, so I decided to see if the bottom of a bottle would be able to explain it to me.

"Sheep!"

I "talked" to a whole bunch of bottle bottoms for the next few years, and, as a result I didn't look quite like the polished, put together and beautiful pageant girl that I had once been. I was unhappy, overweight and making worse and worse first impressions! I decided to go back to school to finish my last semester of classes at my women's college in rual Alabama.


Upon my return, I was almost shocked at the difference that my second impression made on my fellow classwomen. They were not looking at me as though I was a former beauty. They looked at me as though I was a, and there was that same word again, SHEEP, who had lost her fold and was wandering around saying, "Moooooooo!". Why would any self-respecting sheep say "Moo" instead of "Baah"? Well, that was just the problem: I wasn't a self-respecting sheep; I was a world-loving, bottle-hugging, pump-wearing Cow in Sheep's clothing!


It took me the entire Spring semester and the following Short-Term semester, but my Shepard was able to pluck out enough of the cow fur so that I could see some of my beautiful Sheep's wool poking through. It was way more painful than a bikini wax and the process went a whole lot slower, but it was well worth the work!


My wool has still not completely covered my cow spots, but with God's help, I plan to be singin' "Baaaah!" right along with all of his other sheep from here to eternity! I wasn't a very good cow anyway...